I don't like being negative - I consider myself naturally optomistic and positive but lately I feel like I've been viewing things from the bottom of the mountain (maybe this is part of the postpartum hormones). The major part of my life that I seem to have this perspective in is being a Mother. Now I have 3 beautiful children. They are amazing, loving, interesting, funny... they keep me going all the time - but I feel like I fall short in what I should be doing and what I have been doing for them. HOW can I teach them? What should my days look like if I am a successful mother? How can I help them to embrace all the goodness they should embrace in this world? How can I help them learn - abc's, how to eat nice, how to dress nice, how to treat others? My sweet lil' Marybelle is an early riser - often coming into my room before 6am! This is a huge trial for me as I am not even a morning person. We started by having the TV set up for her and she could watch it until the rest of us can roll out of bed. But last week I started setting things up (painting or playdough and breakfast) the night before so she could be more productive in the mornings. I haven't been able to be consistent with this though and can't help but feel like a failure. I really don't like her watching TV at all anymore and really want to get rid of our cable - but apparently it is cheaper for us to have cable (how backwards is that?!!!)
I want to be a better mother and help my children to find true happiness and to be successful - I wish there was a handbook and a clear outline of how to do this!!!!
