I don't like being negative - I consider myself naturally optomistic and positive but lately I feel like I've been viewing things from the bottom of the mountain (maybe this is part of the postpartum hormones). The major part of my life that I seem to have this perspective in is being a Mother. Now I have 3 beautiful children. They are amazing, loving, interesting, funny... they keep me going all the time - but I feel like I fall short in what I should be doing and what I have been doing for them. HOW can I teach them? What should my days look like if I am a successful mother? How can I help them to embrace all the goodness they should embrace in this world? How can I help them learn - abc's, how to eat nice, how to dress nice, how to treat others? My sweet lil' Marybelle is an early riser - often coming into my room before 6am! This is a huge trial for me as I am not even a morning person. We started by having the TV set up for her and she could watch it until the rest of us can roll out of bed. But last week I started setting things up (painting or playdough and breakfast) the night before so she could be more productive in the mornings. I haven't been able to be consistent with this though and can't help but feel like a failure. I really don't like her watching TV at all anymore and really want to get rid of our cable - but apparently it is cheaper for us to have cable (how backwards is that?!!!)
I want to be a better mother and help my children to find true happiness and to be successful - I wish there was a handbook and a clear outline of how to do this!!!!
Tressa, i think you are looking at the wrong examples of good parenting. I tell warren all the time that i want to be a mother like you (not like i want kids right now, but just in the way you teach your children). Your 3 are way more advanced that most kids in my opinion. you are being way too hard on yourself. just think of 'someone else' who is a terrible parent... that has to make you feel better about yourself! if you keep telling yourself you're a failure, you eventually will be- or you will end up on some major anti-depressants! no bueno! You are a wonderful fantastic mother, don't ever tell yourself different!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! The feelings that your having just prove that your a good Mother! You want to do the very best job that you can for your little one's. The trick is to keep on climbing, no matter how much it feels like your always at the bottom. Just keep on going. A little extra t.v watching to get you through this phase won't do any permanent damage. In a few short years she'll be able to get up and get herself and her siblings breakfast and read them books until you crawl out of bed! You will make it. Love you Tress!
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